Soft.

Soft
/sɒft/ – adjective.

1. please don’t take my heart and leave. please don’t please don’t please please please pl- you shouldn’t have loved her the way you did, all rose petals and satin. shouldn’t have thought you’d glide, or sway. you shouldn’t have wanted it soft, or easy, or gentle, or painless. why would it be painless? have you seen her scars? have you seen your own?

2. tell me how to give it back. please, i’m sorry i’m sorry i’m sorry sorry sorry i-  you should’ve known soft wasn’t for you. he’s mellow and pliant and quiet jazz. you’re roars and screams and something infinitely harsher. how did you think he could be yours? how did you think you could lose your edge? you know you can’t glow. you only burn.

3. can’t you come back? i need you back. i need my love back. i need i need i need i- can’t lie, though. it was love while it lasted. not quiet, not dissonant. something in between. noise, but distant. like the fireworks that lit the sky as you kissed each other on the fourth of july. she was not a goddess, you were not a god. but together, you had something divine.

4. i can’t. i’ll hurt me. i’ll hurt you. i don’t want to hurt you. i won’t hurt you i won’t i won’t w- let him go. you know he’s not the one. he was never the one. not if he could leave. not if he tried to convince himself it wasn’t divinity. he loved you, yes. but he was too soft. the music ends at some point. too soft, too soft. let him go. you know he wouldn’t have made it out alive.

5. i’ll unlearn all my edges. i’ll teach myself quiet. teach myself softness. i can learn i can i can i can i- 

6. don’t. you‘ll hurt me. you’ll hurt you.

(the best of the best thanks <- wildest writing on this planet mmm)

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